Over the course of a conversation, someone once observed to me that there are courses, diplomas and trainings for careers and jobs. There are even board exams for some professionals. Other people take up masters and PhD’s to further their studies. But there is really nothing that can prepare one into becoming a parent.
This is true. When your child is born, then you become a parent by default. There are no lessons and courses in any school that can teach you how to be a good parent. Maybe basic sociology on the family may give an eye view but nothing can really prepare you into becoming a parent.
Yes, there are numerous self help books, so-called parenting gurus and now even countless Internet information. But can they really tell you what to do on how to raise your child effectively? Books and information may be good guidelines and all but each child is different and each child should be handled differently. And sometimes what works for one does not necessarily work for the other.
I recall a few years back how I felt confident in having Raya because we had Nadine and she was turning out pretty well. Then as Raya was growing older, I noticed that the stuff I used to do that worked with Nadine did not work with Raya. I realized that because of their different personalities their wants and needs are different too. And with that realization, I felt I needed to get to know Raya well in order to know how to handle her well too.
As parents, we all strive to do our best in raising our children to be upstanding citizens and basically good people. It isn’t easy but we do what we can using our parents as examples of how they raised us and maybe combined with some other stuff that we learn from books and other people. I guess we all try to do the best we can.
It’s just that sometimes the task can be quite daunting. Unlike our projects and work for companies, when we make a mistake, we can always alter or change stuff to make it better. As parents, we are responsible for other persons --- our children. We are tasked to mold and shape minds and personalities of our children. In a way, their lives are in our hands. They depend on us not only for the basic necessities in life but also for emotional and psychological stability too.
Being a parent is no joke. Having children is definitely a joy. But making sure that they are well-rounded people can be a challenge. I think the best thing we can do is be attuned to each child. Know their personalities, their characters and deal with them from there. Eventually they will learn to trust us and our judgment in knowing them well enough and their needs and believing that what we are doing is for their best interest. I just pray that with God’s guidance, we will know what is best for each of them.
