Fighter

I always believed that Cerise is a fighter from the start. But did she have to be tested for her toughness again and again? That was what was going through my mind when once again she was burning with fever while we were vacationing in Manila for Holy Week. The fever started on the eve of Holy Thursday. As what I'd usually do, I'd give her her medication, give her a lukewarm bath and observe and pray that it will end soon.By the third day, with or without the doctor's advice, I would get a CBC. And that's how it went. And good thing I did get a CBC before seeing the doc that Monday because it turned out that Cerise had dengue.


Of all people to get it! Of all people who would be unfortunate enough to get bitten by this fearsome mosquito! It would be my Cerise! You'd hear other families, other people whose children would get dengue and pray for them. But never in your wildest dreams would you think that it would happen to any of your children, must less Cerise! Hasn't she gone through enough already? :-(

My heart was just breaking into a million pieces once again. Why must it have to go through this again and again and again? I didn't have the answers to my questions nor did I expect to get them. This is where faith steps in, I guess, and I once again implored the heavens to heal my baby and help her get through this ordeal. And when my mouth and mind would not know what to pray for any more, I would chant quietly, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." Isn't saying His name a prayer in itself? I remember reading it somewhere and I had to just do it that way. I was exhausted. Mier was exhausted. My baby was exhausted. Dear Lord, please just listen to what my heart had to say because my mind could not express it anymore.

The problem with Cerise is that her veins are so small and barely seen under her skin. It took the doctor more than an hour to find one to insert her IV into. Yes, more than an hour of lying down and squirming on that miserable table in the pedia room while doctors poked and scrutinized her, trying to look for a vein. My baby would cry and look at me with pleading eyes and I could do nothing but hold her and soothe her through this ordeal. I would sing to her, hoping it would help distract her. I think it worked a little. But I couldn't help my own tears from falling. Finally they were able to insert the dreaded needle and Cerise drifted off to a deep sleep from pure exhaustion. Finally medication can now begin.

Two hours later, a medical technician came into the room again to take another blood sample for tests. He would be needing a good amount of blood for the test so it needed to be extracted once again and not just pricked. As expected, he couldn't find a good vein again. He left and brought another med tech with him. Still couldn't find it. They brought in a more senior technologist but still was not successful. By this time I was more than angry already. I was furious and raging. I demanded a doctor come and put in that needle. To cut the long story short, it took them almost 7 hours to get that blood sample. We finally fell asleep at 230am.

Cerise was traumatized with every person in uniform. She would whimper when one would enter the room even if that person would just have to check the her IV or just look at her. And we needed to check her blood constantly because dengue is a blood disease. We just had to bear it and ask people to help pray with us. Once I saw her just lying down and looking at her fingers, probably wondering why they were hurting, why they were blackened by squeezing and blood clots. She can understand more now. And the pain in my heart was just too much, almost physical that leave you gasping for breath. Please Lord, let this ordeal not happen again to any of my children.

In hindsight, even if Cerise was unfortunate to be sick again, she didn't get it as bad as most people who would be diagnosed with dengue. I know families, who have lost members from this sickness. The mosquito does not choose its victims, whether rich or poor. It was a good thing that we discovered the dengue before her platelet count had fallen below 100. The doctor assured me that it would be easier to help her if her platelet count is still high. And true enough, because medication started early and because many people were praying for her, Cerise's platelet count started to rise slowly and steadily. By the 4th day, we were out of the hospital. I guess this is a blessing in itself already and I am grateful and thankful to Him who was with us all through out this harrowing experience.

When we got back from the hospital, Cerise sat in the middle of the room and joined her sisters in playing. It was as if nothing happened, as if she didn't just spend 4 days in the hospital and have needles poked through her, as if her life was not in danger once again. Maybe because of her age, she wouldn't remember any of this in the future. That this would just be a thing of the past. But one thing for sure, Cerise is a fighter! She has proven this before when she was just a newborn and once again she has shown her fighting spirit in full force. I believe that God has a purpose for her. That He has something planned for her in the greater scheme of things.

I just remembered now that when we visited Lola Flory in the convent, she related to us the story of her birth. She was a weak baby and when she was born, the nurses presumed her dead already. But one nurse massaged her chest and after awhile they were surprised to find her breathing again. And I think this happened a few more times, her heart would stop but after a massage would go on again. I told her then that God probably had something planned for her to let her continue breathing and living up to this day. She is now 90 years old.


Perhaps, God has something planned also for Cerise. Maybe nothing grand or big. Maybe just a difference in a few lives. But I believe that she is given to us for a purpose and someday, someday, that will be revealed to us too.