On Sibling Jealousy

Alyssa woke up at 3am crying inconsolably. "Mommy, I need you!" she wailed. Although I was lying down beside her, I was also breastfeeding Cerise and couldn't give her my full attention. If I stopped breastfeeding her, Cerise in turn would start crying. It made me feel bad that I had to choose between the two younger ones and since Alyssa is older and can be reasoned more, I continued breastfeeding Cerise while trying to talk to Alyssa.

I told Alyssa that she has to understand that Cerise needs me more because she is still a baby. "I don't understand!" Alyssa continued to wail.

Fortunately, Mier, who was sleeping with Nadine and Raya in the other room, heard our commotion and came to the room. Alyssa refused to be comforted by Mier and wanted only me. I told Mier to get Cerise and burp her. Good thing, Cerise did not fuss, as she usually does, when Mier picked her up. I was then able to concentrate on Alyssa.

I gathered Alyssa into my arms and looked into her eyes. I told her that when she was a baby, she was like Cerise who needed me to feed her and carry her and comfort her. I explained to her that babies, like Cerise, cannot talk or walk or eat ice cream or play in the park --- things that she, as a big girl, can do already. That is why Cerise needs me more now. I told her that I needed her too, to help me take care of Cerise. Surprisingly, Alyssa took in my explanations well and seemed content with what I said.

Alyssa and Cerise

It was a dejavu for me. Six years ago, I had the same experience when out of the blue, two-year old Nadine blurted out, "I don't like Baby Raya!" I talked to Nadine about her feelings not negating it because I believed she is entitled to feel the way she did. I think it was really an adjustment phase for her at that time. Today Nadine and Raya are very close. They also fight and have misunderstandings which is, I believe normal for siblings. But I know deep down inside, they love and care for each other.

Any mother would like to see her children get along well. I cringed at those families whose children are always fighting because of jealousy and hatred. I have constantly reminded my girls that they take care of each other and love each other because they are sisters. But I am also aware of their differences in characters and personalities. I know that somehow, it can't be helped that they will have clashes in beliefs and wants. But I do pray and hope that these would help them grow in understanding each other rather than pulling them apart.

Today, Alyssa woke up in a good mood. She hugged and kissed me and did not make a fuss getting ready for school. I hope that what we talked about during the early morning would sink in.

Manila Trip Oct 30 - Nov 4, 2010

We went to Manila/Cavite for Daddy Ed's 68th birthday. Since his birthday is on Oct 31, Halloween, we had our own costume party in Cavite. The kids enjoyed dressing up.

We were also able to visit Lola Cely in White Plains and see the rest of the Basa clan.

It was a busy and hectic but enjoyable trip. :-)

Amazing

Alyssa has always been a demonstrative child. She just turned 3 years old but she has always been articulate and would readily say "I love you!" out of the blue.

I was giving her a bath today when she hugged me and said, "Mom, you are amazing!" Times like this affirm that my choice to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) is the right one for me. :-)

My friend, Eliza, wrote on her blog, The Painter's Wife, about her thoughts on being an SAHM. I left this comment on her post:

"Someone once told me (when I decided to quit my job to be a SAHM to my first born) that I should have continued working and use my salary to pay for a good yaya. Huh? That didn’t make sense to me. Why should I pay someone to comfort my baby when she needed ME? For awhile, my greatest fear was that my baby would look for the yaya instead of me. Hehehe! Now, with 2 gradeschoolers, 1 toddler and a month old baby, I only have ONE really reliable yaya to help me. I’m still as hands on as ever and I don’t regret it. Sure, there are times when I need a break and feel crazy for trying to do everything. But when I hear my 9 year old tell me about her stories of the day, or my 7 year old laugh at a joke she heard, or my 3 year old tell me that she loves me or my 1 month old look at me as if I’m the only person in the world, then I know that it is all worth the insanity. "

Yes, they are worth the insanity.

Children's Month Culminating Activity

The girls celebrated the culminating of Children's Month today. They had to dress up in costumes of different countries. Nadine was French, Raya was Dutch and Alyssa was Chinese. They missed this event last year as we left for Manila as soon as exams were done so they were pretty much excited this morning for this. :-)...

Couldn't resist taking pictures of Cerise too this morning. She's 6 weeks old already. :-)

Hospitalized for a Week

None of my older girls were ever hospitalized other than their births. I guess because I read a lot, I'm not the type to panic right away when they get sick. I've also always relied on my gut instinct and call the doctor only when I feel it's needed already.

So when I noticed that Cerise's umbilical cord stump was a little reddish around it at 5 days old, I felt something was amiss and immediately called her pediatrician about it. The doctor asked me if there's a foul smell emanating from it and since there was none, she said to just observe first and continue cleaning it with alcohol.

The next day, after her afternoon nap, I noticed that Cerise was a little warm to the touch. A temperature check showed a 37.9 fever. I texted her pedia again and she said to sponge bath and give medicine once it reaches higher than 38 degrees. I was also to bring her in for check up the following day.

Cerise didn't have fever anymore the next day but we still proceeded to bring her to see the doctor. A CBC check showed that she had a high WBC count and her platelet count was below 200 (195 exactly but her pedia preferred higher than 200). Prognosis was Sepsis, a blood infection, and she needed antibiotics. Since she was still a newborn (she was only 7 days old at that time), they needed to administer the medicines via heplock. She also needed to be hospitalized for the duration of the antibiotics which is a week. There was nothing we could do but proceed to be admitted. The doc also said that she wanted a blood culture done.

My heart broke to see her squirming and screaming in the ER room while her heplock was being placed. Mier saw me crying already and told me to step out while he handled her during the blood extraction for the blood culture. Subsequently, her heplock would dislodge three times during the week's duration and each time they would put it back was a stab to my heart. Finally, the doc suggested an IV drip instead for the medications and this was successful until the end of our stay.

On the second day of our stay, the pedia noticed a heart murmur on her chest. She referred a pedia cardio to come see Cerise and the cardio confirmed the murmur and asked for an X-ray and 2D Echo. The tests showed two 2mm VSDs and a valve that did not close (PDA, i think). This is usually symptomless at birth and usually manifests a few weeks after birth.The doc says the sizes are very small and that she is confident they will close in 3 months time. She didn't give any medications and said that we will just reassess after 3 months.

Only two weeks old and my little baby has gone through so much already. She was a real trooper all throughout the experience and I have a feeling she will turn out to be the toughest among my girls.

We are home now and enjoying our little angel. She has been breastfeeding well and loves  being cuddled in a sling. We pray that things go on smoothly from here and that she grows to be a strong and confident person.

Little Big Sister

Alyssa likes to play her role as big sister very seriously. Here she reads to Cerise and makes up stories. It makes my heart melt to hear her say,"I love you, Baby Cerise!"

Cecilia Amarise "Cerise" Montalvan Castrillo

born: 14 September 2010
7lbs 10oz
52cm