Aches and Pains

Ahhh... Seems like the aches and pains of pregnancy is more pronounced now. Is it because this is my 4th child? Or maybe because I am a lot older now? I thought it would be easier since I know what to expect this time around. Guess I was mistaken.

I've always wanted a big family. I think this was influenced by my maternal grandmother who has 9 children (all married), 27 grandchildren, 5 grandchildren in law and 8 (going on 11) great grandchildren. Reunions and sunday lunches were always a riot! Of course, I didn't dream to have THAT many children but enough to have a fun home.

One night when we were newlyweds, Mier and I came up with 6 names --- 3 names for girls and 3 names for boys. Names that we'd like to give to our kids. Yes, at that time, we dreamed of having 6 kids. But now we've decided to just have 4. Well, I did because I don't think I'd want to go through getting pregnant again.

As usual the first trimester of my pregnancy was just as bad --- beset with morning sickness that lasted the whole day, and nausea. Many times I was depressed for having to go through it all again. Didn't I learn my lesson the first time? Obviously I don't because when I hold my baby in my arms, all hardships are swept away.

Yes, I was depressed, crying uncontrollably and hating the fact that I was pregnant once again. But even if I felt that way, everyday, I'd talk to my unborn baby and let her know that I HATE being pregnant but I LOVE her and the fact that she is mine. Somehow I know she understands.

Now as I enter my 6th month, the nausea has gone but that awful taste in my tongue is still there. Sometimes I still throw up when I've eaten something that doesn't go with my system. My tummy has grown quite big already that I have difficulty moving around. And I feel my baby squirming and stretching inside me. I can't wait to have her out of my stomach and into my arms; to smell her baby scent; to feed her with my milk. Soon, soon.