Asking Permission

One time while we were at my grandmother’s house, my brother asked where my kids were. I told him that they went next door to check out the dogs for sale. (My kids love dogs!) My brother asked, “Did they ask permission?” “Yes,” I replied. If you know my children, they will not do anything without asking permission from me or from their dad.

Another time while Raya and I were at the Mother-Daughter activity of her school, all the other kids and classmates started running to the garden after having their snacks. Raya dutifully came to me and asked me first if she could go with her classmates to the garden. I, of course, allowed her to do so. A mother noticed this and was amazed how Raya asked first instead of going with the flow. I just smiled and told her that they were brought up that way.

I don’t really know how we began this practice. I remember that we started with just making them ask permission when they would want to watch TV. At that time, I really wanted to regulate their TV watching and instilled this rule at home. They probably thought it applied to everything else.

It helped that Nadine, our firstborn, is a very conscientious and sensitive child. Since Raya, our next child, idolizes her big sister, she followed suit without questions. Right now, it’s Alyssa who’s learning to ask permission whenever she wants to do something although she needs to be reminded to do so time and again. This 3rd girl is irresistibly adorable but can be irritatingly stubborn when it comes to teaching her. Maybe it’s the toddler stage so more patience is needed on my part. Sigh.

Another key to this habit would probably be our goal to have open communication with the girls and telling them that we, their parents, are genuinely concerned with their welfare and life. We’ve always wanted them to feel free to tell us what they think and how they feel and not to be afraid to express themselves. This, of course, is done with respect. We hope that this will carry through especially when they reach their teenage years.

I must admit, though, that sometimes it can get quite irritating and annoying when they would ask permission for even the most mundane things. But as I was telling Mier, we’ll just have to be patient about this right now and we will reap the rewards later on. I hope that this would be training ground for them when they are older; that they would think twice about doing things they know would not make us happy. And with that they would develop a conscience in doing what is right instead of what their friends think is right. I hope and pray that what we’re doing now would mold them into becoming better people and citizens of the world.