I Know.

Time for another challenge prompt atAnother Freaking Scrappy Challenge. :-) This time we are asked to "scrap about a belief, or philosophy you have – it can be something deep or something light. It might be a religious or other philosophy, or something as light as your theory on how
you can put two socks into the washing machine and only one ever comes back to you."

I scrapped about Cerise's health situation and what I feel saved her from a possible brain development delay. You can read my journaling below. I printed my picture on Bazzil cardstock on sepia color to give that look. Love how it turned out. :-) Thanks for looking!

Title: I Know.

Journaling: Your doctor said that you were lucky. That you are a miracle baby. You see, we found out about your thyroid problem when you were 3 months already and only then did we start your medication. This was dangerous because we only had 3 months before delay in brain development could occur. The thyroid problem was not detected right away by the newborn screening test. After 2 1/2 months of failure to thrive, we saw an endocrinologist who ordered blood tests, thyroid ultrasound and a nuclear scan. We found out that your thyroid was smaller than usual. So, were you just lucky? I don’t think so. I think it helped that I breastfed you for about 4 months. You might say, I’m such a fanatic on breastfeeding to believe so. But really, breastmilk is the best! And I would have continued to breastfed you if not for your congenital heart problem (but that’s another story). I believe my breastmilk was your saving grace. No other food would be perfect for your system, for your brain, for your body but my milk. And although I had to stop, I’m glad I was able to feed you for your first 4 months of life. This was what helped you. I know.

Our Little Reader - Cerise at 10 months

Cerise loves to read just like her big sisters :-)

Cerise is 9 months old!

Beef Broccoli

Description:
This dish was so easy to make. And turned out pretty good too. Definitely a must in our monthly menu. :-)

Ingredients:
400 grams beef breakfast steak, sliced thinly across the grain
2 cups broccoli florets
2 tablespoons high-heat cooking oil
2 cloves garlic, very finely minced
1 teaspoon cornstarch, dissolved in 1 tablespoon water

For the beef marinade:
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon cornstarch
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

For the sauce:
2 tablespoons oyster sauce
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1/4 cup chicken broth

Directions:
1. Combine all the marinade ingredients in a bowl then marinate the beef for at least 20 minutes

2. In a separate bowl, combine the ingredients for the sauce and stir well. Set aside.

3. Cook the broccoli in a small pot of boiling, salted water until tender-crisp, about 2 minutes. Drain thoroughly.

4. Apply high heat on a wok or a frying pan then pour-in cooking oil when the pan is really hot.

5. Put-in the beef and stir fry for a minute. Add the garlic and cook/stir for another minute.

6. Pour-in the sauce and bring to a boil. Then add the broccoli.

7. Stir-in the cornstarch (diluted in water) and cook until the sauce thickens.

8. Serve hot with rice.

She's 9 months already!

Can you believe how fast time flies? In a few months, Cerise will be a year old already.She is growing fast and bigger. During her pedia check up yesterday, she gained 1 kilo from last month! So she is now 6.7 kilos! Wow! Her pedia says she is catching up with her contemporaries which is very good.

The other day, we went to see Dr. Cindy Llego, a developmental pediatrician to assess her development. As expected, Cerise is behind in locomotor and eye and hand coordination. But she is of age at language and social skills. I guess it helps that we constantly talk and sing and read to her. :-)

Other findings of the doctor:

• with meaningful eye contact and appropriate emotional reactions
• good joint attention; looks at things presented
• able to hold head up in all positions; still with unstable truncal balance
• able to hold small toys and bang them
• heard to speak different vocalizations

The doctor's impression is Global Developmental Delay associated with hypothyroidism and congenital heart disease.

She recommends that we start physical therapy 2 to 3 times a week for improvement of truncal balance, tone and overall coordination. There's a pedia physical therapist whom she recommended to see. Cerise has an evaluation for tomorrow morning.

The doctor also encourages to continue language and cognitive stimulation at home by talking to her about what she is doing and letting her hold different objects and tell her about them. She says to also bring her to different areas of the house.

I am glad that we are trying to address these aspects now as these will help in her overall development. Next in line is to see the pedia cardio again for follow up check up adn the dreaded blood examination again to check thyroid and liver levels. Still praying that these will normalize soon.

Holding Pattern

While I was about to leave yesterday to pick up Cerise's blood exam results, I got a forwarded mail in my inbox. Now if you know me, I don't really like forwarded mail. If the subject is something interesting I MIGHT open the mail to read it. But if not, it goes straight to the Trash Bin.

But this was different. I had a feeling, a pull to read it. Maybe it was the Holy Spirit urging me to open that email and read it before going down to get the lab results. The forwarded mail was an article by Cathy Babao-Guballa from the Philippine Daily Inquirer about Holding Patterns. It was an interesting read moreso because I am in a Holding Pattern right now. She defines a Holding Pattern as "the oval or circular path of an aircraft flying around an airport awaiting permission to land." But she says this can be correlated to life's situations, that God can put us in Holding Patterns for us to learn, for us to trust, for us to put our faith in Him.

I was about to go down to the hospital to pick up Cerise's blood results. The truth is, I was afraid of the results. I was afraid that she will need more tests. I was afraid that medications may not be working. I was just afraid. But this article just reinforced that I needed to continue to surrender everything to Him. Whether good news or bad news, I needed to trust in His process.

I guess there was a reason for reading that article first before going down. It prepared me somewhat of how things would be. Cerise's results were not very good. Her hypothyroid has acted up indicating that her medication is not enough and needed to be increased. Her liver tests showed that liver enzymes went up, higher than it's previous test. Only her Ionized Calcium was within normal range but I need a confirmation from the Geneticist if this is okay. I still await for her email.

But despite my reading that mail, I felt sad. Beyond sad. Devastated actually. Here I am trying my ultimate best to do what needs to be done for Cerise to get better. And yet, it doesn't seem enough. How many times should my heart break into pieces? How many times should my tears fall down? How many times should I feel broken and useless? I don't know. Only God can tell. I implore Him to make things better for her sake, not mine. I cringe with every blood exam. I just want her to be normal and healthy.

I consulted with Cerise's pediatrician. Her thyroid is being addressed now with the increase of medication. For her liver, we opted for a liver ultrasound to see if there are abnormalities in it. Cerise is not jaundiced. There are no other indication of her liver problem aside from the levels. God heard part of my prayer as her ultrasound turned out normal. "The liver is normal in size and echopattern. No focal lesion. The intrahepatic ducts are not dilated. The vascular structures are intact." That's normal as normal could be.

Her pediatrician suggested to wait and observe first until thyroid is normalized. We will just repeat her tests three to four weeks from now and see from there. At least somehow there is hope. Time to pray and ask God to make everything well.

On a lighter note, Cerise looks healthy and well. She has gained 600 grams in 3 weeks time and looks fuller and better now. She is progressing slowly but positively. She holds her head up high better now and can turn already to her tummy although her arm still gets in the way. She recognizes faces and gets stranger anxiety. She follows me and her daddy around and can say the syllables MAMAMA and DADADADA. She is very observant and always looks around. She is now eating well too --- pureed fruits and vegetables.

We have an appointment to see a Developmental Pediatrician on Monday for evaluation. I hope that we can continue monitoring and helping Cerise so she can lead a more normal life. In the meantime, I pray that God molds me to be better in this virtue of patience and waiting. That I learn to surrender fully in His ways, no matter how difficult it may be.

My pretty Cerise

Pata Tim

Description:
Since I found out that pork hock (leg) is relatively cheap, I knew I wanted to try making Pata Tim one day. There was a time when I was actually craving for it.

I researched about it then tweaked my own cooking combining different recipes. I also used my slow cooker instead of the stove top. It turned out pretty well. I'm glad that I now know how to make it so I can have it at the comfort of my home anytime I want. :-)

Ingredients:
1 pork leg
dried shiitake mushrooms, soaked in water
1 bunch chingkay, stem trimmed, blanched (I think pechay can be used too)
1/4 cup soy sauce
3 tbsp. oyster sauce
garlic, crushed
1 piece star anise
1 stick cinnamon bark
1 1/2 tbsp. cornstarch
1 to 1 1/2 tbsp. sugar
salt


Directions:
1. Wash thoroughly pork leg and remove all traces of blood. In a saucepan put cut pork leg, pour water to cover, bring to a boil and simmer for a minute.

2. Drain first boiled water and rinse off all scum. Return cut pork leg in the saucepan (I used the slow cooker this time) pour fresh water to cover, add in garlic, soy sauce, star anise and cinnamon. Cook until tender.

3. Add sugar, oyster sauce, mushroom and continue to simmer until the pork skin is soft like gelatin. Thicken sauce with cornstarch diluted in 1/4 cup water. Season with salt to taste if required. Serve in a platter lined with a bed of blanched chingkay or pechay..

Another Stab in the Heart

I could feel my heart being ripped apart again today. It was just a routinary blood exam but they couldn't find Cerise's vein. We were supposed to have it done last Saturday but after an hour and a half of poking and squeezing and looking for it, the chief med tech said that we should just try again on another day to let Cerise rest also.

Today, Mier didn't go to work so he could accompany me to the hospital. We usually do it at the ER so Cerise can lie down and there's ample light for the medical technicians. But then they still had difficulty doing it. Oh, she was crying her heart out and looking at me with imploring eyes! I had to be brave. I had to find strength and I was praying so hard that all will be well.

They were able to extract some blood but since Cerise is more active now, they lose the vein when she moves. They decided to prick her instead and squeeze the blood out for the remaining needed blood. They needed about 3-4cc of blood for seven tests. TSH, FT3 and FT4 for Thyroid, SGPT and SGOT for the liver, Ionized Calcium for the Genetic clearance and the usual CBC. My poor baby!

Finally, they were able to collect enough blood. Now for the wait. Now, we pray that results are good. We pray that it will all be good.

Future Prima Ballerina

This was Alyssa's first day of baby ballet class. She was beyond excitement! She couldn't stop smiling and twirling while still at home. She enjoyed her first day immensely and is looking forward to the weekly class. She just looked so adorable! But what made her more endearing was when she couldn't express her excitement enough and just hugged me and said, "Thanks, Mom! I love you!" :-)

Corned Beef and Egg Salad Sandwich

Description:
For breakfast or snacks. I made the egg salad already for breakfast but one of the girls was craving for corned beef and rice. So I thought why not put both together in a sandwich. Yum! I had it with my coffee on the side.

Ingredients:
corned beef
onions
egg
mayonnaise
salt and pepper to taste
lettuce
pan de sal
butter

Directions:
For corned beef: Saute onions in pan. Add corned beef and simmer til well cooked.

For egg salad: Make hard boiled eggs. Peel off shells and mash eggs in a bowl. Mix in mayonnaise then season with salt and pepper.

To assemble: Butter pan de sal. Put a leaf of lettuce then some egg salad then corned beef

Fish Fillet with Black Bean Sauce

Description:
I found this recipe in a magazine and since it was so easy to make, decided to try it out. I bought Lee Kum Kee's Black Bean and Garlic Sauce which I used for the Steamed Pork recipe. I'm glad to have found another recipe for it.

This dish was yummy! Raya had lots of servings. Alyssa loved the baby corn and wanted to eat it like a regular corn. LOL!

Ingredients:
2 pieces fish fillet (I used cream dory), sliced into 1½-inch pieces
cornstarch
oil for frying
1 can sliced baby corn
minced garlic
chopped leeks (green part)
1 tbsp bottled black beans and garlic sauce
2 cups chicken stock
soy sauce, brown sugar, and pepper to taste
3 tablespoons cornstarch, dissolved in 3 tablespoons water
sprigs of celery for garnish (optional)

Directions:
1. Coat fish in cornstarch. Fry a few pieces at a time until lightly golden, about 2 to 3 minutes. Drain on paper towels and set aside.

2. For the sauce: Heat oil in a saucepan. Sauté garlic and leeks. Add black beans and mix well. Add stock. Simmer and season with soy sauce, brown sugar, and pepper to taste. Add dissolved cornstarch and mix well. Cook until thick.

3 Add fried fish fillets and corn to the sauce. Mix gently. Spoon a few on top of steamed rice. Garnish with celery leaves, if desired.

In 2 weeks

Two more weeks and school will be officially starting again. I haven't enrolled the girls nor have we purchased their school supplies and essentials. Yaya Anie has been gone for a week already and will be back next week. Til then, we can't really do much because I can't leave Cerise at home nor do I want to bring her with me to the mall. The girls are getting restless but are enjoying their last few days of summer vacation. Tomorrow, I plan to take them with me to their school so we can enroll. I'm sure the trip would excite them for school to start. They miss their friends and are eager to find out who their teachers will be.

Today, I set up these letter posters in our house to help Alyssa remember the alphabet and sounds. Thanks to my sister, Mabel for the idea. I plan to start teaching Cerise as well so it'll be like hitting two birds with one stone. :-) Hehehe!

Bonding Weekend

It was an enjoyable weekend for all especially the girls. They all had their time bonding either with Daddy or me. Saturday morning, both Nadine and Raya got up early for horseback riding trail ride with Mier. They're both showing exceptional skills in riding which of course thrills Mier to no end. May kadamay na siya to horse craziness. Hahaha!

Raya and Nadine on their horses

Then that afternoon, I accompanied Nadine, Raya and Alyssa to a Paint Splash Attack activity organized by some of the teachers from the girls' school. They had so much fun playing with water especially on the hot summer day!

Me and my girls

I posted more photos of their splash activity on my Facebook account. While The girls and I were having fun, Cerise had her own bonding time with Daddy at home. Mier stayed home to babysit Cerise. They slept together, watched a movie and went out for a walk in her stroller. :-) She also pooed twice which Mier had to clean. Hehehe! Good job Daddy!

Daddy and Cerise

No Yaya

It has been almost a week since Yaya Anie left for vacation to Iloilo and another week more until she comes back. And I am sooo tired! I thought I could pull it off. The first few days were ok. I think one of the things that get me down is that I can't go out much. I feel I need a break from the house but can't really. First of all, it is so hot to go out. Secondly, as much as possible, I don't take Cerise out because of her poor immune system. Although she has been okay the past months, I don't want to risk her going out just yet. I don't think I can take another illness from her especially another hospital confinement.

So my girls and I are home now most of the time, trying to do the most of what we can out of this summer time. The toys come out (and of course, the mess) and they get to play with them especially with the ones they haven't played with in a long time. They get to draw a lot, make stories, watch movies and play in the computer and just bum around. Last Wednesday, we invited some friends over and they enjoyed themselves playing at home. This Saturday, we will take them to a Splash Attack activity lead by a teacher in the girls' school. We still are on the look out for activities for them to do. :-)

In the meantime, I will just enjoy this lazy time spent with the girls. Never mind if dinner is late and the house is a mess as long as they are all happy and content then so am I.

Here's the latest picture of Cerise taken last Sunday at my mom's place. She has grown so much already although she is still underweight. But at least, she is growing. We are scheduled to see a Developmental Pediatrician (yes, another doctor!) this June to assess her growth especially the physical aspect. She is so adorable!


Here's also the most recent picture of my four girls. We took this before Cerise's doctor's appointment last week. I love dressing them up in identical clothes although Nadine is at that age wherein she prefers her own style already. :-( Maybe she'll indulge me sometimes for photo's sake. Hehehe!

Breaded Porkchop with Cheese Sauce

Description:
Another hit with the kids, especially because of the cheese sauce. :-) Served with green beans and egg salad. Yum!

I didn't have Japanese breadcrumbs on hand so I decided to use oatmeal instead. It gave an added crunch to the porkchop. :-)


Ingredients:
porkchops with skin on
patis
pepper
garlic
flour
egg
breadcrumbs (cereals or oatmeal as substitute)

For cheese sauce:
butter
flour
milk
cream
salt and pepper (or half a chicken boullion)
grated cheese

Directions:
1. Marinate porkchops with patis, pepper and minced garlic for 15 to 30 minutes.
2. When ready to fry, coat pork in flour first, then dip in egg then coat in breadcrumbs. Fry and drain in paper towels.
3. To make cheese sauce: melt butter in pan. Add 2 tbsps of flour then mix. Slowly add milk while mixing to remove lumps. Add cream and season with salt and pepper. Continue to add milk until desired consistency. Add grated cheese afterward.
4. Serve with hot rice.

Fried Suman with Latik

Description:
There's always a young boy going around the village selling freshly made suman (sweet sticky rice). It is usually yummy to eat it with some white sugar. But did a little twist with it the other day. Fried it in butter and served with latik (coco jam). Yummee!!

Ingredients:
Suman
Butter
Latik

Directions:
1. Heat some butter in the frying pan. You can add a little oil so butter won't burn.
2. Fry suman until golden brown.
3. Served warm with latik on the side.

A Day in my Life --- May 16, 2011

Outside my window ... it's a sunny and beautiful day! All is calm and quiet around the neighborhood.

I am thinking ... what to do while Cerise is still sleeping. Sometimes I get surprised to find time in my hands. LOL!

I am thankful for ... each and everyone in this household. For Yaya Anie who is on a much needed and deserved vacation. And for Aileen who just entered our household last month.

From the kitchen ... fruits (atis, chicos and siniguelas) which Mier brought home last Saturday. Chiz Whiz sandwiches and cereals for breakfast.

I am wearing ... my Hawaiian house dress because it's cool in this hot day.

I am creating ... a special 6x6 album for Brendan, my nephew, before he leaves for Canada

I am going ... to be more patient and enjoy the little things in life.

I am hoping ... that my FIL gets the projects he dreams of.

I am hearing ... Alyssa playing with her toys beside me.

Around the house ... all is calm and quiet. Nadine, Raya and Cerise are still sleeping

One of my favorite things ... to eat right now is Hershey's Selecta Ice Cream. So refreshingly chocolatey!

A few plans for the weekend ... an art workshop for the 3 older girls on Saturday.

Here is a picture I am sharing... our family picture for the month of May taken last Sunday.

Cerise is 8 months already!

Cerise turned 8 months old last Saturday! I cooked Corned Beef Spaghetti last Friday night (took advantage of the fact that Mier was out. Hehehe!) and made Pancit Canton for Sunday Family Lunch in Macasandig. :-)

We love you baby girl! We pray that you be strong and healthy soon! :-)

Steamed Pork with Tausi (Black Beans)

Description:
Found this recipe in a magazine and I just loved it. Super easy to do and so yummy! :-)

Ingredients:
1/2 pork spare ribs (rib tips) or liempo cut into pieces
2 tbsp black bean sauce (I use Lee Kum Kee's Black Bean and Garlic Sauce)
1 tbsp vinegar
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp grated ginger
2 cloves garlic
1/4 tsp ground pepper
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp sugar

Directions:
1. Combine all ingredients together and let marinate for 30 minutes or more. (I prefer doing it overnight)
2. Transfer pork with marinade/sauce into a shallow heatproof pan that will fit inside the steamer. I used an aluminum pie plate.
3. Steam for 20 minutes until pork is no longer pink. Make sure that water is enough throughout steaming process. Replenish if needed.
4. Serve with rice.

Crispy Pata

Description:
I finally learned how to make crispy pata without the frying. My saving grace? The turbo broiler! I'm able to create this yummy, crunchy-on-the-outside, yet chewy-on-the-inside dish which everyone loves without the greasy mess. And to top it all, pork hock is not as expensive in the market. This will definitely be a weekly staple in our home. Hehehe!

Ingredients:
1 whole pork pata - front
1/2 head minced garlic
1 tbsp. peppercorns
3 tbsp. salt
3 pcs. bay leaves
1 tbsp. soy sauce
1 star anise

Directions:
1. Wash and clean pork pata well then put in a pot filled with water.
2. Boil for 1 minute then drain water. Wash and clean pork pata again removing the scum.
3. Put in a pot filled with water again and add all spices. Boil for 1 to 1 1/2 hours or until tender.
4. Drain water. Place pork in a colander and allow to drip dry for a couple of hours.
5. Place in freezer bag and freeze overnight.
6. When ready to cook, place in the lower rack of turbo broiler then with 350 degrees heat, cook for 30 minutes, turn around and cook for another 30 minutes.
7. To make the sauce, mix equal part of soy sauce and vinegar. Add brown sugar to suit your taste. Add also chopped onions.

Seasoned Travellers

While on our way back to Cagayan de Oro, a young dad with a one year old son, asked me if I will be traveling with my baby, Cerise, who was snug in my sling. I smiled and said, yes. He then told me that I have to make sure that the baby is drinking milk when we take off and land so her ears won't hurt. Again, I smiled at him and said yes. Then I told him that Cerise is actually my fourth child. The dad smiled sheepishly and said, "Oh! Maybe I should be getting traveling tips from you!" Hahaha!

Paranoid

I've always thought of myself as one of those calm and relax mothers. I've always felt that because I know how each of my girls are wired, I also know how to handle them the best way. That is, until Cerise came into our lives. Now, I'm just paranoid. Haha!

But can you blame me? Just a week into this world and Cerise was hospitalized for sepsis. Then we had her heart condition, her failure to thrive, her thyroid problem, etc. So many things leading to another. We've had a series of hospital visits, battery of tests and doctor consultations. Finally, she started gaining already and things started falling into place. But I suppose because of her slow weight gain, her immune system could have been affected somewhat.

Last week, we were again transient boarders at Madonna and Child Hospital, this time for Cerise's amoebiasis. It seemed surreal being in the hospital room once again. It looked like the same one we had the last time but then Mier said we were at the room next day. Doesn't make a difference. They all look the same to me --- cold and gloomy.

Before that Cerise had cough and colds. She was on oral antibiotics as well as round the clock nebulizing. It was tiring. Then the amoebiasis came. I have no idea how she got that although the doctor at the ER said that it is common for babies at her age to get it because they keep on putting things into their mouths.

But we've been careful! You'd think I haven't learned from what we've gone through. I've never been as careful with any of my girls as I am with Cerise. And yet, these things happen. And with amoebiasis came the most dreadful diaper rash ever imaginable! My poor baby would cry in her sleep when she'd pee! It literally broke my heart to hear her whimper. I myself was traumatized every time she would poo because that would mean I would have to change her too. :-( And after a week of steroids that didn't seem to work, we are now using Zinc Oxide that seems to handle the problem. I hope she'd be through with this soon!

I am constantly in touch with her pediatrician. Sometimes, I feel she's getting irritated with all my texts and calls (of course, she denied it. Haha!). A few days back, Cerise started sneezing and I panicked. Was she about to get a cold again? I was contemplating on texting the pedia to ask if I should start giving her allergy medicine already. Then I stopped and told my self to step away and relax. She might just have an irritant or something. Hay!

It isn't easy. But whoever said that motherhood would be easy? It is with my fourth and last child that all the challenges are being faced head-on. Someone told me (I think my tita) that maybe she'll be worry-free when she gets older. Haha! I hope so!

But Cerise has been such a trooper! She smiles and coos and charms us all despite all her difficulties. She doesn't demand to be carried or rocked all the time. Many times, I enter the room and find her asleep, on her own. She has been such a sweetie pie and we love having her around the house and in our family. I look forward to watching her grow more. She gained 600 grams in 2 1/2 weeks, a good weight gain --- her biggest so far. She's still small for her age but she will catch up. I claim it.

Raising her head up high :-)

February 14 Photos

We don't usually celebrate Valentine's Day but since the girls' classes were canceled that day (School President's birthday) we decided to have lunch with Daddy at Aroma Cafe.

It was also Cerise's 5th month so I took some pictures of the little one. She still wasn't feeling too well hence she didn't smile that much. I'm just glad that she's better now. She actually gained 100 grams in 4 days despite her colds and cough discomfort. I expect her to be gaining a lot more by next month. :-)

Home from School

Raya didn't go to school today. Yesterday afternoon she had a 39.5 fever when she got home from school. Poor baby! She was feeling so bad that she fell asleep in the couch while waiting for her warm bath.

Cerise is just recovering from her bout of colds and cough, now it's Raya's turn. I hope the others won't be following suit.

Raya's feeling better now. Just watching TV and playing quietly with her toys. She still had slight fever as of this morning but I hope it'll be gone soon. So difficult to have sick kids. :-(

Coleslaw Salad

Description:
I had some leftover chili con carne from 2 weeks back and wanted to make chili dogs for dinner tonight. I thought of making some coleslaw salad to go with the chili dogs. :-) Hmmmm... Perfect! There's some more left for barbeque ribs tonight. :-)

Ingredients:
1 head cabbage, sliced thinly
1 carrot, sliced thinly
mayonnaise
2 Tbsps apple cider vinegar
1 Tbsp sugar
fresh milk, approx 3-4 Tbsp

Directions:
1. Boil water with a little salt. When on rolling boil, add cabbage and carrots. Cook for 1-2 minutes only. Drain.
2. Make the dressing: put mayonnaise in bowl, add apple cider vinegar and whisk til creamy.
3. Add sugar. Spoon fresh milk one at a time while mixing constantly.
4. Fold cabbage and carrots into dressing. Mix well.
5. Serve chilled.

Beef Sukiyaki

Description:
Yesterday was Cerise's 5th month anniversary. I was tired of the usual spaghetti and pancit meals we'd have every month so I decided to try something new --- Sukiyaki! Turned out pretty impressive for a first timer. The girls ate up their portions til they were full. Will definitely do this again with some improvements. :-)

Ingredients:
1 big white onion sliced thinly
500 grams sukiyaki cut beef
200 grams sotanghon noodles, soaked in water til soft
beef boullion or beef broth
soy sauce, about half cup
mirin or sukiyaki sauce (I found in SM grocery), about 1/2 cup
brown sugar, approx 1/4 cup
1 carrot, flowered :-)
dried shiitake mushroom, soaked til soft then sliced
1 bokchoy sliced
tofu cut into 1" cubes
1 egg

Directions:
1. Stir fry onions and beef in a deep saucepan.
2. When cooked, add broth or water and bullion, soy sauce, mirin or sukiyako sauce and sugar. Let boil.
3. Add carrots and mushrooms. Simmer til carrots are cooked.
4. Add cabbage, tofu and sotanghon. Do not mix ingredients together.
5. Simmer for a minute then remove from heat.
6. Serve by portioning meat, noodles, vegetables and tofu in a bowl. Crack raw egg and mix. May serve with rice.

Bottlefeeding with Love

For those who really know me, I am a staunch breastfeeding advocate. Ever since I gave birth to Nadine, my firstborn, and failed to breastfeed her for more than 2 months because of lack of support, I've been encouraging and helping others breastfeed their babies and continue doing so for as long as they want. Together with other mothers and friends, I co-founded LATCH (Lactation, Attachement, Training, Counseling and Help), a non-profit, hospital-based organization that offers mother-to-mother support and services to new parents. I am a breastfeeding peer counselor trained in lactation education, early intervention and mother support. I have encouraged and supported numerous friends and acquaintances and even my two sisters in successfully breastfeeding their children.

So many are surprised to see me giving Cerise, my 4 month old, a bottle of formula. At two and a half months, when she was still failing to thrive, I gave in to the doctor's suggestion to supplement my breastmilk with formula. I knew that if I gave in, there would be a big possibility that I might eventually stop breastfeeding. But I did it. When you see your child so frail and fragile, and not gaining weight despite your efforts, your become desperate. And I was just that. Desperate. Desperate that she would gain, that she would be bigger, that she would be a healthy and normal baby.

The only way I could quantify Cerise's milk intake was to give her milk in a bottle. Yes, I could pump and I did try. But pumping 24 ounces a day (which was the normal milk intake of an infant her age) would require a lot of time from me. And as it is, I had my time divided among her, her 3 other sisters, my husband an my household. I needed to prioritize. I did try pumping. And I did try breastfeeding for as long as I could. But eventually my breastmilk waned (breastfeeding is demand and supply) and she now relies on formula for her milk intake.

Do I feel bad about it? Yes and no. Yes, because I know that breastmilk is still the best and I want nothing but the best for her and for my other girls. No, because I know that I have done what I could and I have to accept the fact that sometimes, things cannot go the way we want it to. I've come to realize that giving her formula in a bottle does not mean I love her less.

I don't just give the bottle just so she can take in the milk. I always do it with Cerise in my arms just like breastfeeding, even if it is late in the night or early in the morning. And almost always, I hold her hand and look at her face. I make it a point to make feeding a communication, a bonding session. And when she falls asleep while feeding, it is my face that she sees last.

I want her to feel that I am still the one nourishing her and that the bottle is just the vessel of the milk. :-)

2011 Rosevale Family Day

We had our yearly Rosevale Family Day last Sunday and as expected we all had so much fun! This time, we were part of the Orange Team. And of course, I had to dye a shirt for Cerise to wear orange too. :-)

Blessings

When we were in Manila last December, Dr. Crisostomo, the endocrinologist, suggested that we also see a geneticist. She named Dr. Eva Cutiongco-De la Paz as one of the best in town. Unfortunately we were caught by the holiday frenzy and Dr. Cutiongco ended her clinics for the year and will resume in January. Mier and I decided that Cerise and I will just once again go to Manila in January for the check up with Dr. Cutiongco. At the same time, we can have a follow up check up with Dr. Crisostomo.

I made arrangements to make an appointment with Dr. Cutiongco while still in Cagayan de Oro to make sure that we will be able to see her while we were in Manila. At the same time, I planned to have Cerise's urine metabolic screening, chromosomal analysis, hearing test and thyroid blood test all done also in Asian Hospital then visit Dr. Crisostomo again with results.

The visit with Dr. Cutiongco went very well. She was very nice and warm. Days before our appointment, I wrote a summary of what Cerise went through and emailed it to our pedia in Manila, Dr. Eileen Alikpala-Cuajunco, who in turn sent it to Dr. Cutiongco. By this. Dr. Cutiongco would have a background of Cerise's issues before we saw her.

After physically checking Cerise and inquiring about familial background, Dr. Cutiongco suspected Velo Cardio Facial Syndrome. Manifestations of this syndrome are congenital heart disease, failure to thrive and nasal regurgitation. But this syndrome is also characterized by a cleft palate which Cerise doesn't have. The doctor wanted a pedia ENT to check for velo pharyngeal insufficiency. The pedia ENT she referred to didn't have clinic the next day and for the rest of the week. My problem was looking for an ENT before we leave for Cagayan de Oro. Dr. Cutiongco said that if the ENT confirms velo pharyngeal insufficiency then she will require the chromosomal analysis.

On our way home that evening several things were bothering me:
1. finding a pedia ENT who can check Cerise the next day
2. getting her cleared for velo pharyngeal insufficiency.
3. her thyroid blood test and getting the results in time for the endocrinologist's clinic hours
4. her hearing test
5. collecting 30ml urine for her urine metabolic screening

I was considering staying a few more days just to finish it all. I was so tired and most of all, I miss Mier and the girls in Cagayan de Oro. I didn't want to have to go back to Manila without them again. I prayed that everything will just go on smoothly.

The next day, we were up early for the thyroid blood test. We were at the nuclear section by 8am as soon as it opened. They told us that results would be out by 6pm that day. We told them we were willing to pay extra to expedite the results because Dr. Crisostomo's clinic was from 11am to 1pm in a different hospital. They told us that we can go on ahead to the other hospital and they will just call the doctor for the results. We agreed.

Then the blessings started to unfold:
#1 Cerise fell asleep right away for her hearing test and we didn't have problems at all when we were doing it. The best news is that her hearing is normal!

#2 We found an ENT right away. He wasn't a pedia but he handles babies and children and was familiar with what Dr. Cutiongco was looking for. Also, we were first in line in his clinic.

#3 Cerise was cleared for velo pharyngeal insufficiency! No need for the chromosomal analysis!

#4 Before leaving for the doctor's clinic at the other hospital, we checked the lab for results of the thyroid test. Lo and behold, it would be ready in 15 minutes! We would be able to take it with us.

#5 Cerise's thyroid test is normal already! Praise God!

#6 We were able to collect 30ml of urine from Cerise in less than an hour for her urine metabolic screening. We were able to submit it right away to the hospital.

#7 Cerise was drinking approximately 20 ounces of milk already and was gaining weight. As of her last check up, she is now 4 kilos, 300 grams heavier from 10 days ago. :-)

Everything was just falling into place and results were starting to normalize. Dr. Cutiongco said that if Cerise continued to fail to thrive then she will have to require the chromosomal analysis. (I told her that although I like her a lot, I pray that I do not have to see her because of Cerise.)

So far, everything seems to be okay already. We are still waiting for results of her urine metabolic screening and a thyroid blood test again a month from now. I am hoping and praying that these would be normal.

Cerise is still small for her age (She is now four months old but weighs like a one month old) but as long as she is gaining weight well then she will be able to catch up soon.

Cerise at 4 months, looking healthy and pretty

Update on Cerise

I haven't been able to update this blog with what's been happening to Cerise since my last post. It was a very hectic Christmas holiday in Manila filled with hospital visits, doctor's appointment and laboratory tests. When we arrived on December 18, we left that afternoon in the middle of Brendan's party to see an endocrinologist at Asian Hospital. I found Dr. Virginia Crisostomo's name in the hospital's website and since she was the only one available on that day, I decided to go see her already. Good thing too because she's a very good doctor --- very thorough, just as I needed.

Cerise’s weight went down to 3.2kg already because of the Aldactone given by the pedia cardio. She was thin and looked really sick by this time. It actually frightened me to see her. Dr. Crisostomo asked for a work up done:

1.      abdominal ultrasound
2.      urine metabolic screening c/o PGH
3.      chromosoamal analysis c/o PGH
4.      urinalysis with emphasis on ph and specific gravity
5.      FT3, FT4, TSH
6.      Na, K, Cl, ionized calcium
7.      RBS
8.      ammonia

The Genetics Lab in PGH was closed for the holidays and was to resume in January. I called up Dr Lumicao (pedia-cardio in Cagayan de Oro) and asked if we can stop giving the Aldactone as Cerise was obviously losing much more weight with it. She agreed and mentioned to continue observing and monitoring Cerise’s breathing and feeding patterns.

Dr. Crisostomo also advised us to see Dr. Portia Monreal, pedia gastroenterologist at Aisan Hospital.

That Monday, December 20, we had Cerise's abdominal ultrasound done. Conclusion: Normal liver, gallbladder, spleen, kidneys and urinary bladder. Obscured pancreas and pelvic organs by overlying gas. Praise God!

We also went to see Dr. Monreal at Asian Hospital. She said that usually babies with cardiac problems have also weight gain problems because of the stress in sucking. She encouraged to breastfeed more instead of giving formula and suggested to cup feed or dropper feed Cerise. She also suggested to try to obtain Human Milk Fortifier (available only in the US) to add calories to the breast milk.

Dr. Monreal prescribed Clusivol Multivitamins – 0.3cc, Iron (Ferlin) – 0.3cc and Vitamin C (Celeen) – 0.3cc to be given twice a day. She also added Folic Acid (0.2cc) and Zinc (0.5cc) to be given once a day. She suggested SGOT and SGPT tests.

The next day, more blood tests were at the Perpetual Help University prior to seeing Dr. Crisostomo during her clinic hours. Although many of the results were not within normal range, Dr. Crisostomo said that this could be due to her weight loss. What bothered her was the thyroid results. FT3 was low, FT4 was low and TSH was high. This indicated hypothyroidism. She ordered a thyroid ultrasound and nuclear scan to be done.

The ultrasound and nuclear scan showed a smaller than normal thyroid gland. Dr. Crisostomo prescribed (Thyrax) L-thyroxine (12.5 mcg in paper tablets) to be dissolved in 2ml sterile water to be given daily in the morning on an empty stomach.

At this time, I was feeding Cerise breastmilk by bottle given by my sister and stopped formula for the meantime. Cerise would take in approximately 10 ounces a day plus direct breastfeeding. On our next doctor's visit, Cerise weighed 3.3kgs, a gain of 100 grams.

When we finished the breastmilk, I was afraid to go back to NAN HW knowing that Cerise would reject it. Upon consultation with Dr. Romblon, our pedia in Cagayan de Oro, we change her milk to Isomil, a soy based milk. Surprisingly, she liked it and started taking in more milk.

During our pedia check up last January 3, Cerise showed that she gained 300 grams in 5 days! She was 3.7 kilos already! I was thrilled and so relieved. At this time she was taking 14-16 ounces of milk a day and would occasionally breastfeed. :-)

Cerise, 3 months, on Christmas Eve looking so small and fragile.

---to be continued---

Cerise at 4 months

Cerise at 4 months --- a little small for her age but gaining weight nevertheless. Thank you Tita Ovvian for the pretty outfit. :-)

Cerise --- 2 and a half months